Friend of the list James Turner replied to yesterday’s email with this interesting fact (bold mine):
“Funnily enough, getting invited to a Japanese wedding is code for “you have to pay 30,000-50,000 yen” —if people like you and just want to hang out with you and celebrate, they only invite you to the casual afterparty, because getting invited to the actual wedding is super expensive, lol.
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That proves further the point of invitations AND money.
If you do get invited to a Japanese wedding, you know you’re expected to pay AND there’s an (approximate) amount of money you’re expected to give away.
If, on the other hand, you get invited to the afterparty, you’re expected to not spend money (well —maybe a gift is a nice touch?).
In both cases, the rules of the game are clear.
It’s not a sale disguised as invitation.